my painting was mad at me

This morning right before I woke up I heard a voice say this to me

When you ????, Are you frustrated at the painting or is the painting frustrated at you ?

A philosophical question

The vision I had was of me painting

And thinking

Confused

Currently I am frustrated with the blue and green painting

I put it away on the balcony because I could not stand to see it anymore because something was wrong with it in my eyes

Its just like my reaction is “something is not right “

Ugh its ugly!

Nate told me that maybe I have to be compassionate to it

Because after all it is a part of me

Its probably been over worked

It needs to be finished

Put the final touches on it and then let it be

I can’t force anything to happen to it

I have to move on noe and try something new

Or try again

Th painting id frustrated with me

Because i am working it and working it

My poor baby

I am abusing it in a way

I shouldn’t treat mt paintings like that

That isn’t healthy

That isn’t kind

Idk how to treat my paintings kindly

But I guess that comes with treating myself kindly

What other paintings are frustrated with me??

I feel like all of them are

I need to just let them be sometimes

And not overwork them

But it isn’t bad it can just be better if I just let them be earlier

I will let them be when they feel good and beautiful I will let them be.

I can’t just keep beating them into perfection

I guess that what I am trying to do now a days

It work them into perfection again

Why is this happening

I thought I wasn’t doing that anymore

I thought doing abstraction was going to help me get out of that

But its ok its a process

I can’t be so hard on myself

Its a process to unlearn

Its im getting closer everyday to breaking the bad habits

I am aware now

That Mayne I have to change the way I am approaching it

How can I stop myself from overworking it

How I can I stop myself

I think Its muscle to be practiced

Knowing when its time to let it go out into the world

It guest need to be perfect perfect

It being itself is enough

Stop trying to turn it into something it isn’t

the finished piece after treating it with some compassion